i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I need a beard to bite.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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