Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
