i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she told me i tasted like america
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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