i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
