I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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