Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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