some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
