Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
