I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
