So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
