im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
