My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
