He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
