would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
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Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
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I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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