Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
