im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
