I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
