Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
