Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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(516): She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot. http://tfl.nu/dkig

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(706): View more from Georgia

So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

(404): View more from Georgia

I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

(706): View more from Georgia

Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

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(706): So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator. (404): I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer? (706): Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/p10m

Replies (29) Good night (784) Bad night (1906)
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(440): View more from Ohio

My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.

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(440): My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol. http://tfl.nu/vdrg

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(619): View more from California

I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.

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(619): I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/qtfu

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(682): View more from Texas

aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow

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(682): aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/8wvu

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(607): View more from New York

then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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(607): then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother" http://tfl.nu/te5y

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(714): View more from California

Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful

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(714): Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful http://tfl.nu/3flc

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(703): View more from Virginia

you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.

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(703): you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him. http://tfl.nu/eh64

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.

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(814): there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit. http://tfl.nu/3q7y

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

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(715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them. http://tfl.nu/68wg

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(614): View more from Ohio

Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

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(614): Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified. http://tfl.nu/iywq

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(415): View more from California

There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.

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(415): There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight. http://tfl.nu/58zb

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(714): View more from California

I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.

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(714): I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle. http://tfl.nu/7gdx

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(949): View more from California

i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.

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(949): i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/v7vl

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(817): View more from Texas

I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.

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(817): I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita. http://tfl.nu/fdg7

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