I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?