apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
