I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
