did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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