You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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