now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
