if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
