Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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