Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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