it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
