Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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