i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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