I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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