i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
