I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
