clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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