i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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