Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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