You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
