i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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