I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
