Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
whose parrot is this?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
