somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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