I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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