I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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