Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
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I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever