oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling