I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
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Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.