singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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