I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize