she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
