Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
