11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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