this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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