he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize