you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
