I got chris browned last night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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