absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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