Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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