Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
