so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
