Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
