i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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