I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
