well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
