when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
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My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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