Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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