Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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