Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
