At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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