I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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