Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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