yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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