Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She's the barista slut.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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