I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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